My Loved One Was Diagnosed With Depression
Those words can make any family member or friend worried, scared,
or even angry. Some find it hard to understand why the depressed person
can't "snap out of it." It's okay for you to feel concerned.
You are not alone. Millions of families and friends have felt exactly
like you, and because they care, they have learned how to help their
loved ones get through depression.
This section will help explain what depression is, what it isn't,
what treatments exist for depression, and what you can do to help
your loved one through his or her illness.
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Depression—More Than Just a Blue Mood
Everyone gets sad sometimes—a brief blue mood, disappointments,
grief after losing a loved one. Depression, though, is not just a
case of the blues. It is a serious medical illness that needs treatment,
just like diabetes, asthma, or heart disease.
There are several signs and symptoms that help a healthcare professional
determine if a person has depression. If at least 5 of the following
symptoms are present for most of the day, nearly every day for more
than 2 weeks, professional help should be sought:
- Feelings of sadness, depressed mood, and/or irritability
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities, such as hobbies or
spending time with family/friends
- Changes in weight or appetite
- Changes in sleeping pattern—sleeping too much or too little
- Feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or worthlessness
- Inability to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions
- Constant tiredness or loss of energy
- Restlessness or decreased activity
- Frequent thoughts of suicide or death
Important: if you or someone you know has thoughts
of suicide, seek professional help immediately through your healthcare
provider, or call 411 to get the phone number for the nearest local
suicide hotline.
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What Depression is Not
Depression isn't something to be ashamed of, nor is it a character
flaw or a sign of a weak personality. No one with depression can just
"snap out of it." You wouldn't ask someone to "snap out of" diabetes
or some other illness, and you cannot expect it of a person with depression.
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What Causes Depression?
Depression can be caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain.
These chemicals are natural substances that allow brain cells to communicate
with one another. Depression can also be caused by stress, medication,
or other medical illnesses. Certain personality traits and elements
of your family history can also contribute to depression. No matter
what caused your loved one's depression, it can be treated, and help
is widely available.
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Can Anyone Get Depressed?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 19
million Americans suffer from clinical depression each year. Chances
are, at some point in your life, you or someone you know will become
depressed. Depression doesn't discriminate—anyone, regardless of age,
gender, race, or socioeconomic status, can be affected.
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Help is Available
The good news is that more than 80% of people with depression improve
with proper treatment. There are two principal treatments for depression—counseling,
also called psychotherapy, and medication. For some, either treatment
alone may be sufficient. For others, the most effective therapy is
a combination of the two.
Counseling, or psychotherapy, is often called "talk" therapy
and it comes in many forms. Basically, psychotherapy is aimed at helping
a person develop new ways to cope with problems, and to identify and
understand more about depression and how to avoid it in the future.
Psychotherapy may take place in individual, group, or family sessions,
and the process itself may take some time before it is effective.
Antidepressant medication works by helping to correct the imbalance
of certain chemicals in the brain. These medications may take several
weeks to be effective, but they work well and are generally safe.
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You Can Help a Depressed Family Member
You play an important role in helping your loved one get through
this difficult period in his or her life. There are many ways to help:
- Remind your loved one to keep his or her appointments with a
healthcare provider and take prescribed medication. Depressed persons
are often tempted to stop their medication as soon as they begin
to feel better. It is very important for them to keep taking their
medication as directed. This will help prevent a relapse of the
depression, or the return of symptoms.
- Listen and provide support. Be patient, understanding, and encouraging.
Don't dismiss the depressed person's negative feelings—point
out realities and offer hope instead.
- Take care of the "little things." A depressed person
may need help just keeping up with tasks like doing the laundry
or caring for a pet. You may offer to help until the person is feeling
better.
- Remember that depression is a medical condition. Try to encourage
your loved one to develop healthy habits such as sleeping at regular
times, eating balanced, nutritious meals, and taking a daily walk
or doing some form of exercise. Remember, with treatment, most depressed
people do get better.
- Make suggestions. Urge your loved one to postpone major life
decisions, such as changing jobs, getting married or divorced, or
moving until his or her depression has lifted.
- Learn everything you can about depression. Knowledge is power
and contributes to a greater understanding of your loved one.
- Suicide threats are to be taken seriously. Keep in mind that
it is not true, as many people believe, that a person who talks
about suicide will not attempt it. Those who attempt suicide often
threaten to do so as a way of asking for help. Pay close attention to any changes, especially sudden changes, in mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. This is very important when an antidepressant medicine is started or when the dose is changed. Call the healthcare provider right away to report new or sudden changes in mood, behavior, thoughts, or feelings.
- Take care of yourself. You may find yourself feeling sad, angry,
frustrated, or helpless when caring for a depressed person. Talking
with a friend or counselor can help you deal with those feelings.
Doing something nice for yourself while taking care of a loved one
can also help.
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